Light Blasted by the Divine

Maria A, 47, Female, Medellin, Colombia

My Kundalini awakening was one of those intense, somewhat psychotic ones, and I was definitely unprepared for it.

Now that I think about it, the signs and synchronicities that led to my Kundalini awakening have been present in my life since childhood. But what definitely triggered it was continued years of a disciplined energy healing routine, including a strict diet, feeding my body fat-free living foods, and daily meditation.

What's kind of funny and paradoxical is that all I wanted was to recover my health (autoimmune conditions). So, I abandoned all my spiritual search on topics like enlightenment or meditation just to pursue my health recovery.

Then, after years of practice and dedication to my healing, just two weeks after a White Light event with an internationally renowned body/soul healer (I don't want to disclose his name, so let's call him my Guru), a mystical, intense, out-of-this-world energy hit my body with full force. In my case, it came from top to bottom, and I identify it as a Shaktipat type of Kundalini experience. Back then I wasn't looking for a Kundalini awakening at all. I was very eager to heal my body and soul after years of health problems, losses, and hardships, so I wasn't prepared for what was to come in the next few days, months, and this whole Divine process.

So, the first wave of energy lasted a few days, from Friday to Monday, to be exact. I was lucky to be living alone back then and not having a lot of work responsibilities because Shakti was talking in my head all the time, guiding me to do things, creating powerful synchronicities and intense body sensations and symptoms. It literally felt like a rollercoaster ride. One day I was the Virgin Mary, mother of Jesus, then the next day I felt like I was the most evil person in the world and having fun being mean, and then I felt like I was being exorcized of demons.

I couldn't sleep for three nights. My appetite was gone. I just intuitively drank a lot of water and had some dates (fruit) here and there. As for the physical symptoms, I felt very cold for hours, shivering, and then inner heat came from inside my body. I had spontaneous talking, some light body movements, I heard phantom noises, and I cried, laughed, and had to face fears like my sensitivity to noise. I recognised some limiting beliefs, like not spending money even if I had plenty, so Shakti made me buy a lot of things during those three days. (Since then, I'm much less worried about spending money on things I like or need.)

On the second day, I began to feel an indescribable amount of love and compassion, beauty and joy for every single thing on earth, even rubbish or rotten things. I saw the beauty and perfection of the earth and universe. All this happened in my house alone, as I said, and Shakti did all this while I was watching random YouTube videos. I clearly remember the voice saying: click here, watch this, then that...for hours and hours. I was also guided to review my life, even understanding why people were mean to me and how one thing leads to another.

The third day, I was guided to play my Guru's videos, and here is when this whole thing makes me embarrassed and somehow shy because when Shakti got to the bottom (sacral chakra) I started to have intense romantic feelings towards my Guru, to the point of thinking I was in love with him and we would be a couple. I know, this is crazy because I have NEVER EVER, in years of following him, thought about him this way. Plus, I have never met him, I know him just from online videos. (When this episode ended, my feelings for him disappeared and normalized.)

Lastly, on day four, the energy started to subside and my usual mind regained control. I felt grounded again, but kind of sad because I felt like a powerful spiritual force had left me. I kept going with my life but I wanted to make sense of all this. So, I thought initially that I went mad, crazy, or had a psychotic episode. But I remembered that the powerful Light blast event felt intense in me, and could be the cause of all of this. Also, I  have never had mental illness or symptoms in my life like this (I was 46 years old back then.)

I spent weeks looking for information online, until I found a guy who explained a similar experience he had, so I was somewhat less confused but still not at peace.

One month later, a second, more subtle energy wave visited me again. This time I had a couple of family members staying in my house temporarily. Well, the energy basically talked through my family members. For instance, I had an internal thought, and then, out of the blue, my family member repeated the same idea or started to talk about exactly that. It was unbelievable.

Also, Shakti had fun with me. She pranked me, and I laughed like mad. Furthermore, she manipulated some body sensations, like sexual arousal. Also, this energy affected other people, in my case, I have a brother who never helps me or calls me on the phone. Well, he called and brought groceries for me. Or a distant friend that called me that day and said "Hi! it's been years since we have spoken, are you enlightened yet?” Literally.

Those were three really fun days. I started to see symbols, mostly holy numbers like 144, 777, 369 and a lot of snakes and infinity symbols. Songs were totally aligned with what I was feeling or thinking at the moment. Even while driving my car, God sent me messages on license plates or stickers on other cars. It was mind-blowing, but at the same time, I remained grounded and functional, unlike the first energy wave I had.

The issue was that Shakti kept purging emotions, memories, laughter, synchronicities, etc., so I was still a mess and highly confused. I prayed on my knees every day to have answers and help me have some peace of mind. That's when I found Brent Spirit's channel on YouTube, specifically the video in which he explains the spiritual process of maturity and compares it with adolescence. Instantly, I felt peace, stopped trying to understand every episode of the "craziness," and trusted the process. Brent's video saved my sanity.

Since then (1.5 years), I keep having purges, but I'm much more stable, I feel divinely guided, and most importantly, my healing process has accelerated. Some people have entered my life, but I'm still kind of isolated in this process. One of the most noticeable changes in me is that I can feel the emotions and intentions of others, mostly their manipulative behaviors, so I feel like I can see through fake words. And I have faith that a major breakthrough is coming in my future, though.