Kundalini and the Cleansing of My Suffering
Snow, 29, Female, Algeria
Aspects of My Childhood That Evoked Kundalini Awakening
Unlike other young girls that loved dolls, I was into everything that is related to spirituality, like asking existential questions, being very religious, reading Quran, sitting in lotus pose and meditating, and practicing yoga. I remember the first time I watched Harry potter in 2001. I used to memorize the spells and try them. I used to love ai chi and how to move things without touching them.
My Suffering as a Child
Both of my parents were orphaned at very young ages and they never received love. They told me about their suffering as children. They also had never done their shadow work, which meant they can't give love to their kids, since they don't have it. All they would do is transmit their traumas and wounds.
I was very very abused as a child. I was insulted, beaten, made fun of, and shut down. I had no right to choose for myself or say no. I was literally my mom’s puppet. Everytime I expressed my opinions about my clothes or anything she responded, “This is my money and I do what I like with it,” although I was only 4 or at primary school.
As a Result of My Suffering
I had zero self-esteem and zero self-love. I used to criticize and hate myself instead. I was barely able to lift my head and look at others. I used to be out of breath whenever it came to me expressing myself. I had a chronic disease, so I was very underweight and pale. I had visited many physicians and taken a lot of drugs. It was only when I met a healer who prescribed me some herbs. He said that they were compliments that trigger the body to heal by itself and the process was something related to energy. At that time, I knew nothing about energy healing. But it was very effective and I have healed in less than a year. Thank God.
Since I was abandoned as a child, my only relief was through studying and becoming financially independent. I was an excellent student.
I was aware of my shyness and low self-confidence, and I wanted to change that. So, I started to learn about psychology, then self-development, and then spirituality. I was comfortable and felt secure with lifecoaches that combined their work with verses from the Quran.
How I Attracted Kundalini Unintentionally
A lifecoach put out a monthly intention. It was autumn and the intention was “trauma cleansing”. So, I adopted this intention. The first manifestation was a reiki healer that offered me an online reiki session. So, I had symptoms that are similar to Kundalini syndrome for six days. I loved the result on my physical and mental health and wanted more. This lead to the second manifestation of the intention which was a spontaneous Kundalini awakening.
The Day of My Kundalini Awakening
I woke up at 4AM and I put on a podcast of a spiritual healer. He spoke about self-questioning in Islam and he said, “We may experience shaking. Do not be afraid. The body is freeing itself from negative energy. Do not resist it. Let it leave.”
Around 10AM, I sat to meditate outside. Suddenly, I felt an automatic breath retention accompanied with automatic smiling. So, I went back to my room and started sharking. I was in a total state of let go, thinking it was the self-questioning. I had assumed it as such for two months.
One day, my dad and I were watching a documentary of people who cut themselves without bleeding and my dad said the words, “Kundalini energy”, so I googled it. It was an aha moment. It described exactly what I was going through.
Kundalini Syndrome
The experience was very intense at the beginning, but then it tapered down gradually. Now, it becomes intense every full moon.
The common symptoms:
Kriyas, mudras, pranayama, yoga, energy movement
Spontaneously drawing the infinity symbol
Feeling a serpent moving in my body
Vomiting, crying, cramps in my legs and lower back, heat, sleeping disorder, buzzing in my ears
The symptoms that I didn’t find in the literature:
Holding my hair as if I was freeing it from electric charges and then combing it in spiral pattern
Tapping my chest and arms, moving my hands, and then feeling electric charges until they become red and inflamed
Pressure in my forehead, forcing me to close my eyes very firmly. If I open them, I tear up.
Feeling as if a cold fire moves quickly from the base of my spine, stopping at my heart center. I feel blissful and joyful.
Hearing sounds such as owls and waterfalls.
Negative Experiences
I learned about the dangers of Kundalini, mostly about the risks of psychosis, paralysis, and blindness. My whole life turned upside down and I was thrown in the unknown. I had a strong need to be locked down in my room for the kriyas, and I lost a lot of opportunities to work. I was put under pressure from others and blamed for something I hadn’t chosen.
Positive Experiences
I experienced synchronicities, such as whenever my shaking or kriyas are enhanced, my family leaves the house so that I can shake freely. If I am shaking outside, then it suddenly stops all by itself if someone is coming.
I feel closer to God, more than ever. I feel the Quran for the first time in my life as an energy and not just words. For example, when I read verses that mention God is near, I automatically smile.
I have better health, a clearer voice, and brighter skin. My intuition has been boosted and I am able to sense other people’s energies. I have been guided. For example, I am guided to listen to the Quran, to the Torah, to light language, to mantras, and also to hard rock music, which helps the kriyas to happen faster. At times I am guided to sit by a tree, or to the right teacher or books.
I have more awareness and am less attached to earthly matters or to people, like my family members, knowing that it is all in God’s hands. I have enhanced compassion. I have become more forgiving and kinder towards myself and others. I have boosted self-confidence and I am more present in the now. I have acceptance for my reality and know that I am the creator of it and that it is all a reflection of my inner world.